cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

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cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章BananaDD » 12 9月 2014 11:37

My wife doesn’t like to talk with me, what should i do?
Life is messy, there’ so much in my head, but nobody to talk I feel so lonely.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章adele » 12 9月 2014 11:48

You wont be lonely! you have us!
here is the way for you to share your story!

what happened between you and your wife?

anyway, nice to meet you!
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章heffalumpiglet » 12 9月 2014 11:48

Hi,
What is bothering you at the moment? Life is short, full of challenges and fun; Life is alike Roller Coaster, up and down till to the end. What happened in between you and your wifey? Big quarrel ?? At first, have you both ever talk genuinely? Men and Women are different, we love to talk, but men is hard to open their mouth and heart.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章BananaDD » 12 9月 2014 12:42

hi, thanks for your concern.

Well first of all i love my wife very much and my main wish is she is happy. I sometimes thought about her leaving me and i must say, if i know she is happier after that, without me, then i will suck that up. But i am also confused because she cannot tell me what is her dream for life, how she like to life in 10 years etc.. its hard to see inside. So far, the only thing i found is working if i do not talk about “stuff”.

When there is subjects we talk only to find out other persons position, then subject is closed without resolution. She write to me:

“Me, we have shit, I am angry, then we settled down, I will erase that from the rubbish bin.“

Should people SOLVE their stuff by talking, or just make sure the other one understand, but then can put away even a problem is not solved?

I always care what is inside my love’s heart and if she feel bad i try everything to make her feel better. Its the only thing for my life really.. to love her and make her happy. I try to fix the cause, not the sickness but it seems wrong.

She spend time with her friends, listen and share about their problems all day and night, she will go out for fun and happy time (which i cannot afford to join and/or want to leave her the own space).

I actually feel like a woman having a problem with my man lol.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章heffalumpiglet » 12 9月 2014 13:30

Men's talk and Women's talk are completely different. As women's talk, we always chat with friends concerning the business or private stuffs which is normal, it's simply because we understand all each other, we are a working women and by the time we also well manage our family (man and kids).

For men just like you, you will never understand what she thoughts, but we do.

You both are an adult, should stop dig out the old stuffs and get angry, it won't be helped much. In order to re-build the long-terms relationship, it's not only focus on what currently happening and must foresee the future if you have children.

Life is short, but it's not easy to deal with. "Marriage" - such a meaningful word, how many people who understands what exactly is.

Share, Love, Respect and Encourage to each other.

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life

With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Look, how long you didn't take dinner or a walk with your wife privately? How long you didn't have pillow talk with her? Open your heart to the people you loved.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章i m not 33b » 12 9月 2014 20:00

Maybe both of u need to learn to lose. Everyone talk abt stuff but do not need to end with arguement. I think these goes for both u and ur wife. A solution is not always important. If cant agree with each other, whatever just cuddle, when u guys can discuss that problem again, try again. When too much frustration in that conversation, she will give up talking because she doesnt want to argue.


I donot know anything abt marriage, but all these years i learn to agree with my bf. When things that i dont agree with him, i talk when both of us are in happy mood. U never get to the end when one is frustrated.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章大叔 » 12 9月 2014 20:08

hey man, share with you!

Woman is a very Strange Creature, they have other ingredient in their head, sometimes even empty (pretty sure I gonna get shoot from female controllers here). Long view is too hard for them to see. Actually they may not even remember what they did a week ago, or what they have to do a week after.

On other hands, you should see from other view, having a easy thinking woman, or having a complicate thinking woman, you still a lucky guy. I met some women in the pass, every thing has to double thinking, never let go for anything, SUPER hard wood, and end up you just crash on them, and get bleed.

We (men & women) are talking 2 languages for sure, there is only bridge in middle just to exchange the idea. Sometimes maybe its too hard for her to exchange as well, if she is not so clear what is what - oh, its come up with a question, are your wife a Blonde? (just a joke)

Job like accountant, mostly are the men, why? bcoz we like to see how come, why, and what's now and what will be in a full picture. we are realities, they are life surfing, that they just surfing day after day.

At the end of the day, Same as I tell to other male members here who has 6 children, what a amazing job you guys are in! getting marry, deal with the marriage, care the whole family. I am single, and I am trouble-free.

Not worry too much, we are (men) always lonely, because we are stronger and bigger then them.

Cheers.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章i m not 33b » 12 9月 2014 20:19

I hv empty mind most of the time...LOL i trained myself since i was a kid.
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Re: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章大叔 » 12 9月 2014 20:22

shannnb 寫:I hv empty mind most of the time...LOL i trained myself since i was a kid.


bearomg" bearomg" so fast to stand out.

Great job, kid!
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Re: 回覆: cannot talk about stuff - what to do?

文章i m not 33b » 12 9月 2014 20:25

大叔 寫:
bearomg" bearomg" so fast to stand out.

Great job, kid!
just one of the lazy way to live life.
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